The Goblin Emperor - A Book Review

Since I have nothing good to write about this week and I don't want to go another one without writing in here, I will proceed to give you a review of the book I just finished. It is The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison.

When I started this book, I wondered if I would even like it. The constant use of formal pronouns such as "thy" and the flowery, Shakespearean form of prose made it difficult to get into (and I'm a huge fan of Shakespeare).

Then the book ended. 

Although yes, it was a little slow in the beginning, it turned out to be a marvelous read. And, if you enjoy politicking, this is a book you may also find quite enjoyable. 

That's all this book is, to be certain. It is the story of a young man, half goblin and half elf, that is to become the new emperor of the Elflands. It is the story of him learning the ropes of the court, and of him learning how to be an emperor.

If you're looking for an action novel, this isn't it. But, if you want a deeper read with subtle lessons and political maneuvers, this book will make you very happy. I really did enjoy this book and, while not for everyone, I would certainly recommend it.

I try and read as much as possible, and I review most every book I read on my Goodreads account. If you'd care to follow me on there, please do. Then we can talk books and stuff.

A Day in DC

It was my birthday last Tuesday (a week ago). That meant all my family called me up to talk about how old I was getting, how many grey hairs I had, and that they would miss me that weekend in DC. Since my brother's fiancé visa hadn't come in yet, there was to be no wedding, even though both he and the bride-to-be were in the same city, going to be at the same temple, and on the day they had originally planned for. But they decided to do the whole reception and pictures thing anyway. Because there was no wedding, I had decided I wasn't going to make the trek out there. After all, I just had a baby a month ago! Well, Jill had the baby, but you know what I mean.

Anyway, after realizing there were still going to be pictures and a reception (I thought it was all being done away with an postponed), I was crazy pants sad that I wouldn't be there. After all, I had missed my sister's wedding because I wasn't allowed to leave the US until my green card arrived. I didn't want to miss this one, too!

Jill and I talked about the logistics of me going, and if she would be able to with the kid as well, and how much we could afford it. Well, we decided I should go, but would have to leave both of them behind. It was sad, but it was inevitable. We were planning on buying the ticket, but my mother (bless her soul) said she'd cover the cost. We really do appreciate that. So incredibly blessed, we are.

Wednesday I bought my ticket. I was also terribly close to missing my flight completely by purchasing a ticket two weeks away. That wouldn't have been very good.

Then, on Friday of last week, I set out on my adventure. I left work a couple hours early (hurray!) since I got in a bit early and didn't take lunch (boo!) and made my way to the airport. I kissed my dear sweet wife goodbye and tussled the hair of my nearly 1-month old boy and entered the airport. At 5:30, I was on my way to DC for my brother's almost-kind-of-sort-of wedding! Side note: my flight was supposed to leave at 5:00, but they didn't have ice for the drinks so they waited for that to get stocked up. What fun.

After a four hour non-stop flight, I landed in DC (yay!). It was just before midnight (ug) and I still had to take a cab to the hotel where my parents were staying. So I hailed a taxi, hopped in, and was asleep before 1:00.

Morning came early, since we had to be an hour away by...9:00? I can't remember. But we got up early and left early. We made it to the DC temple on time (although Michael and his finance, Kate, nearly missed the session), and I'm proud to say I only fell asleep once or twice, and even then it wasn't a deep sleep. Go me. Then we took pictures outside of the temple.

I was very happy to be there. Like I said, I had missed my sister's wedding, and there was no way I wanted to miss this one. My whole family would be there (who I don't get to see very often because international), and I WANTED TO BE IN ALL THE PICTURES DAGNABBIT!

And so I was.

After pictures, we had about three hours before the reception started, so my mother and father and I decided to hit up the metro and take a gander at DC proper. This is probably the one time you'll ever hear me say that I actually wanted to go to the mall.

So off we went, with Dad driving the rental car on the freeway towards the metro station. Needless to say, we got lost. We spent far too long actually trying to get to the station that when we actually did find our way there (through some miracle), we wouldn't be able to go without being late. We didn't realize it too half an hour there and back by train. So, dejected, we drove back to the chapel where the reception would be.

The food was delicious, and the slideshow was totes adorable (I feel obligated to say that, even though it's the truth). There were plenty of couple's dances, and I had although I wished Jill was with me before then, that's when I really started missing her. We tried to organize a FaceTime call during one of the dances, but Rex had other ideas. Apparently he wanted to eat right before such dances started, or he was getting his diaper changed, or something to keep his mother away from me. I guess it would have looked fairly odd to have me out on the floor dancing with a phone, so it's probably a good thing. Kate might have changed her mind and I would have ruined all of Michael's hopes and dreams! Yeah, that's probably what would have happened.

Well, the reception ended, we tore down the decorations, and said goodbye to the almost-bride and nearly-groom.

Then we drove to where all the touristy stuff was.

Yet again, we became ridiculously lost (next time I go out that way, I'm driving myself). But eventually we did find a place to park close to the Washington Memorial and walked around in the dark. It was late, but it was DC, and how could we not?

We wandered through the war memorial and up to the Lincoln Logs Memorial. As is the norm, I was wearing a rugby jersey. While climbing the seemingly endless staircase to the monstrous stone man, I heard a quiet chanting that grew louder as I approached:

"Munster! Munster! Munster! Munster!"

I looked around, confused. Who was chanting that, and why? Then I looked down, realized which jersey I was wearing (bet you can't guess which one), and then saw the bloke chanting. I gave him props (no pun intended...oh sorry, rugby joke. I bet you didn't even get it...) and went on into the great and spacious gazebo where Lincoln sat, staring out over the reflection pond and War Memorial.

Inside, the fellow who was doing the chanting approached me and inquired if I was from Munster. His accent gave him away as a foreigner from across the pond. I had to lower my head in shame and say no, I was not from Munster, but I did fancy their team. He was from England and the Wasps were his team. I told him (possibly a little too excitedly) that I had a Wasps jersey, too! And then we talked European rugby, my team (Leicester Tigers), and a bunch of other stuff. Fun guy.

We then proceeded down the steps and we found our way back to the Washington Memorial, and then to our car. Fortunately, we did not get lost going back to the airport.

We did, however, have troubles getting on the metro to get to our hotel which was one stop away from the airport (which is why we stayed there that night). Anyway, after a long (might I stress the word LONG?) day - which was good, and I'm totally glad I could be there - we finally crashed in the hotel (crashed as in sleep. Nobody drove a vehicle inside our room).

Three hours later I was up and on my way back to the airport.

After another long flight with not much sleep happening, I finally landed and was the happiest person ever to be back home with my wife and my little boy.

I loved DC, but next time, I want them to be there with me.

And now it's raining and I'm sitting outside typing this so I'd better wrap it up before my computer short circuits because of the water factor and BZZT BZZZZZZZZ SHHHZZZING

Homeless From the Hospital

How about we just pretend that this hasn't been left to rot, alright? Alright.

Really though, I'm not sure why we failed at updating this. I mean, we didn't even have a kid then. We hadn't even moved yet. And I wasn't even working full time (two part time jobs don't count). But, as you may know, there was some excitement in our lives. In the midst of that excitement was gray hairs, sleepless nights, and lots of ice cream.

Let me tell you a story.

In May, we started the process of buying a home. We were really excited, since it was our first ever home, and we were just so stoked to have it for our new baby that was coming mid-June. And because it has AC, and we did not want to spend another summer in our 3rd floor apartment without those arctic winds blowing in to cool us off. So yeah. Stoked.

Well, we were supposed to sign for our new home a week before the kid arrived. We made sure we did everything on time, but despite our attempts at punctuality, we still had to delay the signing by a week. This put it right before the baby's due date. Basically, if the baby came early, we were hosed. And, since we had already told our apartment people we'd be out by June 6, we now had a week of homelessness to look forward to.

Stress.

As fortune would favor, a friend of mine took over our spot from us. So, when we found out we couldn't move into our new place when originally anticipated, we worked with them and were able to extend our rent by another week. We're saved!

Now, that sounds pretty straight forward, but let me assure you, it was anything but easy. We weren't sure if they were going to sign on time, if we would even be able to extend the contract, and let me just say, that when they signed and everything for that apartment fell into place, it was pretty much the last day it possibly could. Really pushing the limits, there.

The next big stress was not knowing if we would still be able to move into our new place or not before (or even after) the baby came. There was so much "I don't know" going around that I'm pretty sure I lost 12 years of my life from lack of sleep. Can I just mention how stressful it can be, knowing your wife is about to pop any day, and and if she goes into the hospital before we sign, there's a very good chance I'll be taking her and the baby home to a hotel room? That's stressful!

We prayed hard, we went to the temple, and we fasted. We knew everything would be alright. And yet, despite having those feelings, we (mostly I) stressed out beyond reason. I was terrified. The last thing I wanted was for my wife and new boy to be homeless after leaving the hospital.

But, fortune prick me, we were able to sign on Tuesday, June 9. The next day we moved (and thanks SO MUCH to everyone who came and helped!). Then, on Thursday, we went to the hospital.

We stayed the night there eon Thursday, and early Friday morning Jill was induced. We played games (Monopoly Deal) while she was in labor, right up until the point when the nurse came in and helped Jill start the pushing process. Then, after an hour of that, we finally got our little boy, Benjamin Rex. Cutest kid in the world.

Did I mention Friday was the day Jurassic World was released? Because that also happened. The name is obviously just a coincidence.

We went home on Sunday, June 14, and were welcomed by a ton of boxes, littering each and every room. We couldn't have been more pleased.

That's the abridged version. Be it known that stress was high, uncertainty was through the roof, and, looking back, it's completely obvious that the Lord was looking out for us. I'm a little embarrassed when I say we worried so much, when we had felt that everything would work out. And guess what? It did. Just as the Lord promised.

Pretty fun stuff! So now we're home, we're living the life, and everything is just great (knock on wood).

I will try and update on here more often. It's good to be back. I'm doing this during my lunch break at work, so this might be the only time I get in a week, but if you promise to read it, I'll almost promise to post more often.

Green Card Me.......please?

Last Tuesday Jill and I had the remarkable experience of getting up at the wee hours of the morning and driving up to Salt Lake to be interviewed by the government so they could determine if our marriage was legitimate or not, so that they could then in turn grant me with the illustrious and illusive Green Card.

If you have never had an interview with the government, let me explain a few things for you.

The waiting room is quieter than a graveyard. It's not that there aren't any people in it, it's just that everyone is too terrified to say anything. Big Brother, as they say, is watching. And listening. And if you choose to go to Big Brother's house, you are asking them to listen in on everything you say. Now, who knows if that's actually true or not, but everyone in there waiting sure thought so. Jill, being not-foreign, has apparently yet to have that innate fear instilled in her, because she was talking about all sorts of things, cracking jokes, and being her usual charming self. Bless her soul.

So is Little Sister

When we finally were ushered in to our interview room, we sat down, and our interviewer, in his fancy Russian accent, made a few jokes. I didn't know how to react to that. I mean, a government agent was using humor to make us comfortable! I don't think I have ever seen that before in my life. Except for the time when I was crossing the border and one of the US Customs officers started laughing at something her customs pal had said. I looked quizzical at her and she said that he wanted to know if I had any ketchup potato chips with me.

Uh, yeah, actually, I did.

I even offered them some, but they declined. Probably for the best, since ketchup chips are absolute rubbish and they probably would have denied me entry because of the abomination they are (the chips, not the people). Don't ask why I had them. I had my reasons.

Anyway, so our Russian-American interviewer told us to raise our right arms. I thought he was still joking around, but apparently he wasn't, so Jill and I hesitantly raised our arms. After we swore to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth (so help us God), he reverted back to his uncharacteristically good-natured self.

That's why when he asked where my old passport was, I thought he was joking.

When I told him I had no idea where it was, he asked for other proof of entry. Which I did have, just not the kind he wanted. I had the electronic I-94, but he wanted to see one before that. Which was in my old passport. Which I didn't have.

I'm pretty sure I could hear the sirens growing louder and the shuffle of officers behind me before they clapped my wrists with manacles and sent me off to the slammer before deporting me for ever.

That's when he told us that he really didn't need it anyway.

Well, there goes five years off my life. But I did show him other documents that worked just fine.

Then he realized something, opened a brown envelope, and tossed me my old passport. Apparently I had sent it in previously (which I shouldn't have done, by the way, since passports are government property and not mine to give). He then took the picture of our little boy that's still cooking inside my poor wife (the image to which I am referring is what most people call an "ultrasound" image) and made a copy of it, stamped his approval stamp on our application, and sent us on our way.

And then we drove away quickly (while still obeying the speed limit, of course).

It was a stressful time, but we stood firm (or rather, sat shaking) and were granted the coveted Card o' the Green. So it looks like I won't be carrying Jill away to some foreign land of snow and ice (you can thank me later, her family).

All in all, it really was an easy interview. We just had to show that yes, we were married, and yes, we plan on staying married. They don't like people to get married just for the permanent resident status. Don't worry, Government. We're gonna be together for a very. Long. Time (ie. forever).

The best part about being approved for the green card, however, is that I can finally stop playing that blasted Apples to Apples game.

Got my green card (still not a citizen, but close enough) 

Star Struck Me

I've never been big into tabloids or knowing what was going on in the celebrity drama. I figure, they don't don't know me so why should I care to know them? And I don't mean that in a rude way. But I'd rather stalk someone on Facebook that I already know and catch up on their life. Drama is better when you know the people anyway, am I right? Now that doesn't mean I don't have a favorite actor/actress. I still appreciate them for their talent and I'll even pay a few bucks here and there to be mildly entertained for an hour or two. But that's about as far I take it, or so I thought until this weekend.

I didn't realize it but maybe I'm a little more "star struck" in a different way. Not so much with the Hollywood celebs but more in the Mormon world. There are people in the Mormon culture that everyone would just love to meet one day, like the prophet, David Archuleta, Steve Young, and so forth. So on the mission I became a big fan of watching Mormon Message videos. They are just so inspiring and can really change my mood in an instant. One that has always stuck out to me is called My New Life about a couple who gets in an private airplane crash and live. Their story of survival and recovery is so powerful and I've never forgotten Stephanie Nielson's story of faith and pressing forward with five children after such a tragic event.

So here is it Valentine's Day and I'm just sitting at my "station" in the temple entryway when Stephanie and her husband walk in. I was pretty shocked seeing as I didn't even know she lived in Utah. But I found myself just staring in awe like the prophet had just walked in himself. Before they even got through the line I was released from my spot and I went along to the next. I just sat and wondered what it would be like to talk to her for just one moment. I found myself talking to another temple worker about it to see if she knew who she was too. Looking back I realized that I was being a total fan girl through all of this. What a weirdo. But not too long after that I found myself face to face with her and I was so excited! It was one of those moments where I had to tell myself not to be a idiot or to say anything stupid. But as I talked to her for one brief moment I saw something I never would had known if I had never met her in person. Amongst the heavy scarring on her face from the burns she had the most beautiful eyes, and shining through them was the light of Christ. I had already thought that she was inspiring and strong but her eyes told a another story, one that can't be said with words. For that moment I didn't only know of her faith and dedication to Jesus Christ but I could feel it. She didn't have to say anything at all.

As she walked away I just told her how inspiring she was, thanked her, and we went on our merry way. When I recalled the excitement that I felt I realized that it was maybe the same excitement that people feel when they meet someone from Hollywood and I felt a little bit sheepish.  Now I figure why not admire someone so humble and Christlike. We need more people like that to be admired and sought after. But just like Christ I'm sure she has no intent to be famous or popular, but merely wants to share the message of peace and joy. She did it without words and you can tell that she lives her life in a way that makes her a true disciple of Christ.

So folks, that's my lesson learned for the week. Quiet dignity and true discipleship. It's not something you can really preach about but it just shows when it's been achieved.

P.S. Here is her blog address just in case you wanted to know more :) http://nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/ 

Much Ado About Nothing

So...it's been a while. We're no good at this blogging thing (and I've been failing miserably at my weekly vlogs as well, so there's that, too), but we're going to keep doing our best to remember. And by remember I mean remember to be exciting so we have things to blog about.

Here's our life update:

Jill has been student teaching. She rocks at it.

Ben has been working and pretending to be busy with ridiculously non-busy things. He rocks at it.

So there you have it. Our life in review. I hope you enjoyed it.

Stay tuned for more fascinating updates!

Merry Christmas and Happy Hogmanay!

Well folks, Christmas has come and gone, but one thing remains: a large stomach. And no, I'm not referring to Jill's pregnancy (although I'm sure I will refer to it like that more often in the future). I had far too many goodies that, for some reason, have yet to leave me alone. Alas, such is life.

But enough about Christmas rolls (too soon?). Let's get on with what we did for our first Christmas as an old married couple!

First, last Tuesday, I received my printed and bound copy of my finished thesis. That means I'm finally done! I. Am. A. MASTER! It was a long time coming, but now my thecal matter is officially available to the researching world. Who knows, maybe somebody will read it one day.

On December 24th Jill and I took the front runner up to Salt Lake with James and Megan. We brought some games to play as we rode, which was great because a) we didn't have to drive and b) we got to play games.

Monopoly Deal. I pwned them n00bs.

We had a delicious meal at the Cheesecake Factory (which looked nothing at all like a factory, might I add). Then, we took a stroll through Temple Square, admiring all the lights and nativities they had set up.

The next day was, of course, Christmas.

I also need to point out the weather we had been having. Warm weather and no snow. Except when we woke up on Christmas morning IT HAD SNOWED! It's a Christmas miracle!

Anyway, on Christmas morning we got up and opened up our stockings. Then we made breakfast.

Out of focus selfies are the best.

Eggnog french toast, scrambled eggs, sausage, hash browns, and Tim Horton's Hot chocolate.

Then it was time for PRESENTS!

The tree looks bigger from this angle.

Basically, we had the best time giving each other gifts. I mean, yeah, it was great to get the biggest, fattest book on the planet (so excited to start reading it, too), but the simple act of giving was the best bit of the day. We were both so excited for the other as we excitedly exchanged gifts. I could have been happy not receiving anything, just as long as I could still give things to Jill (but now that I have all the things let's not go back in time and change that, okay? Okay.). But Christmas was a very special day for us, as I'm sure the first Christmas usually is for new married folk.

Ahem. Anyway...

We had dinner at Jill's Grandma Forsgren's place (with James and Megan) and then played games with James and Megan that night. Good times were had by all.

And then, of course, since there was snow on the ground, we went out the next day to make a snowman. Unfortunately, the snow wasn't that great, so we decided to be inspired by Calvin and Hobbes and create a special kind of...unfortunate snowman. This was the outcome:

That snowman has quite the butt.

It didn't really look anything like Calvin's, but hey, it never hurts to have a metal pole growing out of your head. Unless, of course, it does...

And so that was Christmas (and a few of the surrounding days). New Year's is just around the corner, so in farewell for now, I wish you all a very merry Christmas and, as the Scottish would (and will) say, Happy Hogmanay!

Apologies and a Family Photo

People. We are so. Sorry.

We are vile.

We are plumb useless.

We apologize profusely for failing to update this thing in, like, forever.

But we've been busy (excuse #1). We will try, from here on out, to do better. But we cannot promise once a week, as we have hitherto done. We will do our best, but it might be one in two (gasp).

But here's the lowdown on what's been happening.

Jill has been doing her practicum teaching in Spanish Fork. She absolutely loves the kids she teaches (1st grade), and I've seen her interest in them grow as her time there wore on. She really did love the children from day one, but her care and concern for them grew as the weeks went on. Isn't she just precious!? She's the best. She would always come back with fun stories from her days at school. What fun.

I have also been doing some teaching of my own. I was taking the class that is the precursor to teaching seminary as a full-time job, so I was able to hit the classroom here and there, and then for two weeks straight. It ended the week before last, and it was so much fun. I loved being able to teach and interact with the youth. It's something I would have loved to have done as a profession, but alas, I received an email today from my teachers saying I was not accepted. But they made sure to tell me that I shouldn't feel like a failure because I was able to bless my fellow classmates and those I taught. Nice words for sure. I'm not too terribly bummed out because I kind of knew I wouldn't get it, but it sure would have been nice. But the things I learned in that class and while teaching are some of the most valuable things I could have learned, and I don't think I could have learned them anywhere else. Now it's onward and upward, but at least I'll get to keep those skills I learned and all the knowledge that came with that class.

Also, we took family pictures yesterday. Here's one of them:

So yeah. There's that, too :)

Pumpkins and Death

Last Monday we had a magnificent FHE with Tim and Nena (holla!) where we carved pumpkins! Because it's October and Halloweeny and that's what we do.

If you watched last Monday's vlog you will have seen the relative size of the pumpkins Jill and I used to hack away at and mutilate to our heart's content. I must say, our pumpkins turned out rather well. Let me show you with the magic of digital images:

Jill's pumpkin

Jill's pumpkin glowing

Ben's pumpkin

Ben's pumpkin glowing

As you can see, Jill's is a fantastic cyclops-minion pumpkin. It looks awesome.

Mine, well, I tried to do a stormtrooper (you know, from Star Wars). It's close. But if you didn't know what to look for, you might have a hard time distinguishing it from other pumpkins carved by five-year-olds.

So that was last Monday.

Today as we walked outside of our apartment, we looked at our beloved pumpkins (we do that every time we leave. We love them so much). What we saw horrified us beyond reason:

They DIED!

They aged so fast that the mold of life took them oh-so prematurely. We're not exactly sure why they didn't even last a week, but they sure looked good for those couple of days we had them for. Our beloved pumpkins will always remain in our hearts.

Nature, Harley, and Not Much Else

GUYS I'M SO SORRY! It's been FOREVER since this blog has been updated.

We'll do better. Which I believe we said we would do in a previous post, so you can see how well that ended up.

Anyway, a couple things for this post.

First, we took a trip a wee bit up the canyon last week (actually, last last week) and took some pictures of the fall foliage. Unfortunately the leaves weren't entirely changed yet (or in most cases, at all), but we were still able to get some good shots.

Just...look at some of the pictures and smile at nature. Also, they say a picture is worth a thousand words, so this should help me meet my quota for today's post.

It's pretty awesome to be able to live in an area with this kind of awesome just a short drive away. Sometimes it's nice just to go and be with nature and forget about the hustle and bustle of busy Provo life. Nature's everywhere. Sometimes it's in your back yard, and sometimes you have to drive a ways to find it. Wherever it is, it's a good reminder of God's love for us. I mean just look at that cool red leaf! That is one good lookin' leaf. God must have known it would be admired for its uniqueness, contrasting its red/orange/yellow with the gray rubble of the ground.

And then there's the double waterfalls, spilling water continuously from some unseen spring. I mean, only water can do that. I sure couldn't. Let's be honest, if I were to cascade down a rock face like that, I'd end up really really dead. But the water doesn't die. It runs on. I'm sure there's a gospel lesson in there if we look hard enough (as in really, really hard).

Anyway, nature is awesome.

THING TWO.

Jill rode a motorcycle.

It's okay! Don't worry! She didn't die!

In fact, she even wore a helmet!

My pops was in town on Friday and after an hour or so of begging and pleading, he agreed to take her for a spin on his Harley. What a guy, right!?

Actually I'm going to turn this over to Jill now so she can describe the experience to you in all its glory.

Enter Jill.

What the new sensation!?! I learned how to ride a motorized scooter over the summer and so I was expecting it to be like that but man it was so much better. It was smooth. And scary! Call me a sissy but I leaned against the sissy bar the whole time. It was a very exciting ride around the block and I think it prepped me for the next time I ride who knows when. But thank you Papa K for the ride!

Pics to prove this happened!

Exit Jill.
Enter Ben.

So there you have it, right out of the horse's mouth (no offense, dear).

But we've been having a good couple of weeks. Things have been busy but that's the way we like it.

Also, general conference was great this weekend. We were able to go up to the Saturday afternoon session and sit in for that. Always nice to get tickets to go (thanks Papa J!).

Anyway, that's all for now. I hope everyone else had a great conference weekend and may this week be the best one of your life!

Cheers.

Death Star, Wet Sponges, and Long (Short) Books

Apparently last week's blog post was a cop out. Our apologies to everyone who was waiting with baited breath for an enthralling post about the excitements of our lives. Unfortunately, not every week is as exciting as the Death Star trench run.

Stay on target...

Anyway, since school started Jill has been working her night job while still having early class because I, in my inability to be legal, could not work. So the poor girl has been working late into the night (morning?) and then waking up early to be a good student. I'd tell the whole story of why I wasn't legal to work, but it's boring and, quite frankly, I don't think I even understand it fully. Suffice it to say, I would be shipped back to Canada if I had started working before being authorized.

Fortunately, my employment card finally showed up last week and I was able to get my job back with the MTC doing all their video needs. This means that Jill was finally able to quit her job and get all the sleep she needs! At least, she gets a lot more sleep now than she used to.

I got back to work just in time because last night at devotional Mr. Ballard spoke (M. Russell... Mr...get it? Ok...). Church AV brought their super-nice broadcast truck so we can broadcast to the international MTCs, since our current camera/broadcast situation in our facilities are being upgraded. Funny how "upgraded" means "doesn't quite work yet."

Working with Church AV has some great perks. One such perk is we actually get fed dinner before the devotional. Otherwise we'd have to fend for ourselves.

The second perk is the equipment. This is the cameras they have and we get to use:

Drool...

The lens itself is worth over $25,000. I've absolutely loved all the time we've had working with Church AV. Knowing how to put together and use these crazy-nice broadcast cameras has been amazing. Nerd alert.

But like I said, last night Elder Ballard spoke, and although it's sometimes hard to actually listen to the talk (since I have to focus on getting shots and listen to voices in my head - ie. the director), it's still a huge blessing to just be in the same room as him.

Moving on to this past Monday, Jill had to volunteer at some teacher/parent carnival/party/thing at an elementary school. I was a little nervous, because the last time I was at a carnival-type event I ended up with sopping-wet sponges thrown into my face.

Anything for the kids...

But I digress.

We were assigned to help at the fishing pond booth where kids fished for fish (derp), and when they caught one (ie. when the person hiding behind the blue sheet clipped a laminated paper fish to the paper clip at the end of the child's rod), they could trade it in for a free book! How awesome is that!? Pretty dang awesome. Except that the Iron Man and Captain America books were all in Spanish. But that didn't stop some of the kids from running off with them. The first kid to win a book held up and Iron Man book and asked if we had one in English, since he didn't know Spanish. I said no, but told him he could use the book to learn Spanish! As a joke. Well, I'm not used to interacting with younglings of that age, and so he decided to go with it. Before I could tell him I was joking he had run off with the book, excited as ever.

At least it has fun pictures in it.

Anyway, we had fun helping out and giving out free books.

Speaking of books...

Today I just finished reading J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion. WOWDEEWOWWOW that was a tough one to get through. If you thought the actual Lord of the Rings books were difficult, you should try reading the history of Middle-earth. It's a doosey. But at the same time, it's rather quite interesting (if you're in to histories of fictitious places). Just thought I'd share that with the world. I felt like it was a big enough accomplishment that I deserve to. It's weird, because that book is 304 pages and it took me forever to read it, whereas I can read a book that is gigantic (say, for instance, A Memory of Light by Robert Jordan) in just two days.

4 weeks

2 days

Something's wrong with me. But we already knew that.

So that's enough about me and my reading habits. Jill and I will do better at updating this thing and making it interesting for everyone. Have a nice day, and wake me up when September ends.

Today's Blog is a Vlog

In light of nothing terribly exciting happening for us to write about, we decided to leave with all you wonderful people the latest vlog post from my YouTube channel. If you ever had that uncanny desire to snoop around our apartment, now's your chance.

Enjoy.

Also if you haven't yet subscribed to this blog I highly recommend it. Also the YouTube channel (shameless plug).

Ducks, Date Night, and Domestic Abuse

With the start of school this past week we decided to revert back to our childish ways to celebrate. And there is nothing that says "Hey look I'm 5!" like feeding the ducks on campus. Luckily we had some left over hot dog buns to spare so we made a trip over to the duck pond. We were originally sitting on the bottom bench of the amphitheater when Ben had the great idea to move up a few rows, just in case the ducks got close. So Ben took the first chunk of bread and chucked it at a nearby duck. Apparently bread makes a sound when it hits the grass because about 7 ducks turned their head when he threw it started to waddle towards us. Then they all started to invade. They were dropping poop bombs like crazy as they infested the feeding ground. But don't worry we warded them off with crumbs of bread. Only then did I look up to the sidewalk where this girl was standing there, just beaming. I'm pretty sure we made her day. :)

Only after feeding the ducks did we realize how fun it was to be 5 again so we decided to continue to live in the past. For date night we colored from a Star Wars coloring book and built a blanket fort! Oh my gosh is was my favorite. It was an improved coloring experience because both of us can now color in the lines. The drawing even made it to our fridge where it'll probably stay for a while. And the blanket fort lasted two days. It would have lasted longer except our bishopric decided to come for a visit and we decided to destroy the thing. But it was great for when we needed it to watch Doctor Who and eat popcorn. Maybe I did homework in it the next day. Maybe it was the best experience of my life. Why do adult choose to grow up again? 

Now don't forget the domestic abuse! Ok not really but it made for a good alliteration for the title. But really Ben is HiLaRiOuS  when he sleeps. We always try to pray before I go to work at night but we forgot on Sunday. So he told me to just wake him up when I got home (at 2 am) and we (I) would pray. Well I snuck into our room that night and tried to gently wake him. The next think I knew he was flailing and yelling "No! What?! No!" Luckily I had taken a step back because he starting slapping the air around him. I couldn't help but laugh as he was still trying to process what was going on. I'd hate to have an intruder come in at night because they might get slapped to death. But I guess as pay back for scaring him he head butted me in the night in his sleep. It's all fair I guess. :) 

It's been nothing but fun this week. I even tried making some homemade bread in a bread machine  and then I made bread dough in our fancy blender. Both turned out so good that we even took some to our neighbor and got to know him. We even invited him to our ward luau this week. We're just lovin' life and spreading the joy. We love you all!!

Kentucky!

Do you remember that scene in Home Alone where Kevin is at home with all of his family, there are people everywhere, and it's just absolute bonkers? Well, that's kind of what it felt like last week at Jill's house in Kentucky (but in a very good way).

Let's be honest, I (Ben) am the second child of three. There aren't a lot of us. And so being in an environment where there is family everywhere is just...different. As busy and full of people as it was, it was awesome. I had a ton of fun with all of Jill's family (er, my family now, too, I suppose). You think I'm obligated to say that because it's mostly her family reading this. Folks, if I didn't enjoy it, I just wouldn't have mentioned it in the first place :)

For a video blog version of how our week went, check it out here (or just go to the bottom of this post where I gave in and just posted the video on to here). For you readers out there, let's get to it.

We started off the week by waking up at 5 o' stinking clock in the morning on Tuesday. Follow that up with a flight to Texas, mixed with a layover, and continued on with our last flight to Cincinnati, and it sure as heck beats driving.

Day 1 was travel. 'Nuff said.

Day 2 involved driving even more hours to get to Mammoth Cave. For those who don't know what Mammoth Cave is, it's a cave. And it's big. Really big. Mammoth, even.

That's not the cave.

Unfortunately we had to pay to see the cave (unlike some people...). Anyway, we began our three-mile lantern-lit tour by descending into the depths of despair...er, darkness, rather, and from then on out continued in lantern light. It was a really interesting tour, because as we went deeper and deeper into the cave, there was less and less touristy stuff from the old days (old as in 1800's days), and more and more...empty cave. We saw some old writing/images on rocks and walls that, according to Mr. Tour Guide, dated back about 2,300 years ago. Some chump Nephite making his mark on the world.

Our tour guide.

Following the cave we saw where good ol' Abe Lincoln came from. That was also worthy of a picture (mostly as proof that we actually went).

Friday was the day. That is, the day we had the Kentucky version of our wedding reception. It involved lots and lots of lemon-flavored food (which was so good), and a lot of standing and seeing old friends. Well, Jill saw all the friends. I just stood there and looked good. I guess that makes me the trophy husband, amIright!?

Yes, I am.

But it was fun. Jill knows a lot of very nice people. Some were even Irish! And Canadian. And there were some Americans there, too, I think.

But lucky us, we got lots more free stuff! And money. We always need more money. We are so blessed to have been the recipients of such great generosity!

Especially the Star Wars gift. That one wins (obviously).

Look, Star Wars!

We went swimming on Saturday and we all tried to slide the fastest down the slide and yeah anyway, that was the week in a very small nutshell. Basically I love Kentucky. It was a little humid, but nothing worse than the Philippines, so it's all good. And green. Lots of green. But the best part was the people. Sure the house was full and the people were crazy (you know it's true), but that was by far what made the trip as awesome as it was. I'm grateful to be part of that large and crazy family. People apologized to me a lot throughout the week for the chaos and what was said and what people did but don't worry folks! It didn't phase me. I loved every minute of it.

But that doesn't mean we're not moving to Canada :)

__________________

Here's the video I mentioned earlier. It's different content (sort of), so enjoy!

29-Years-Old and Still Drooling

Dentists are pure evil.

On Monday I (Ben) had to go in to their lair of wickedness to have four (4!) cavities filled.

Stop there.

Let me be clear on something first: I was 23-years-old (or older) when I got my first cavity. That means I survived a 2-year mission in the Philippines without a problem. And let's be real, that place can be nasty. Especially for a missionary living like the locals (albeit a little bit more well-off). The food, the water (the filthy, nasty waters), and everything else there just lives to rot your teeth. And I got out scot-free.

And then, two years after I got home, I had one (count 'em, one!) cavity. After that, nothing! Not until now, at least.

Which brings us back to the topic at hand: Evil dentists.

So I had four cavities: three on the left side (top and bottom) and one on my bottom right. The dentist numbed the bottom right and top left portions of my face. He didn't numb the bottom left because, according to him, "It's pretty small so we'll see if we can do it without numbing it." Apparently he didn't want to freeze my entire face. What a nice guy. But my favorite bit was when he said, "Let me know if it hurts."

And then he proceeded to drill into my un-numbed tooth.

I just lay there, bracing for that moment when the drill would shoot through the tooth and into my jaw. Fortunately that never happened, but I did flinch a number of times because, well, it did hurt.

"Does that hurt?" the dentist would ask.

"Mhafegm," I would respond (keep in mind, half my face was numb, and my mouth was propped open with some new-fangled, sci-fi jaw propper-opener thingy).

He gave his condolences, said he was almost done, and to let him know if it kept hurting.

"Mghshjksbm."

So again he began excavating my tooth and again I began flinching (but not saying anything, because I'm a tough rugby player who eats pain for breakfast. Or is it my middle name? I can never remember). Anyway, to make a short story long (too late for that, I'm afraid), he stopped, realized the hole was bigger than he first thought (n00b), and decided to numb that part of my face after all.

So there I was, 3/4 of my face numb, drool quite possible leaking out of my gaping maw, unable to recognize the steady flow of drool because my face was so numbed up. Fortunately though the rest of the procedure went as planned and I was quickly shuffled out of the operating room and into the front to pay.

I think people at the dentist office have a sick sense of humor. They love talking to you when it's blatantly obvious that you cannot answer back with even a single clear syllable.

"How would you like to pay for that?"

"Chfjoke."

"I'll assume you said your soul. Have a nice day!"

But yeah, I paid and got the heck out of there. The numbness lasted at least four hours, during which time I had dinner (or rather, dinner had me. I could not for the life of me find my mouth to insert food), gave the FHE lesson (which who knows if Jill understood a word of it), and biked across town to tour a pioneer museum. Right when I thought my face would be frozen that way forever (just like Mom used to threaten me with if I ever made rude faces), the numbness melted away. I'm saved!

The moral of this story, folks, is this: Don't get cavities. And if you do, don't tell anyone.

Dumpster Diving

Do you know what newly weds do when they're bored?

Dumpster dive.

Ok we weren't bored but we really did go for a swim in the deep blue trash bin. It all started with a mail in rebate card we got from the wedding. I was filling out the rebate receipt to get $30 bucks (that's a lot of money for a young couple) when we realized we needed the UPC off the box. Then it dawned on us that we through the box out the day before.

So being as poor as we are we ran down to the dumpster praying that the box would be just on top. We poked our heads over the edge and saw a few boxes of ours and figured it must be close to the top. So Ben, being the nice husband that he is, jumped right in that smelly thing and started to dig.

We didn't really think before we went down to the dumpster but it was 2:00 in the afternoon on a summer day in Utah, and before you knew it Ben was sweating like crazy. I mean he sweats in our apartment with the AC on, so just imagine him in a big metal box digging through trash in the middle of summer. Wow, what a guy. I watched helplessly from the side as giant beads of sweat rolled from his forehead, to nose, and onto a bag of trash.

He went at it for 45 minutes and STILL didn't find it. He literally moved every piece of trash in that dumpster and it wasn't there! We are convinced that someone stole it because everyone needs a Kitchen Aid box just for fun. Even though we didn't find the box I still sent in the mail-in-rebate with a note explaining that we had thrown away the UPC and even went dumpster diving to find it. Maybe the Kitchen Aid company will have compassion on us. :)

But we didn't let this ruin our new toy. Oh no! We enjoyed a nice batch of cookies instead. I also came to realize from this experience how hard working my husband is. What a catch! The good life we have goes on in the Kocher family. :)

The Honeymoon's Over

So we decided to keep a blog so that y'all can keep up with our comings and goings and whatnots. So this is it, the life of the newly weds (barf).

First of all, thanks to all you wonderful people who helped us get hitched (it took some doing) and making our honeymoon a reality.

To start off our über cute blog, here's our honeymoon!

The first day consisted of driving. Not much to tell there. Except we nearly got run off the road by the He**'s Angels biker gang. Don't believe us? Here's proof!

It's a Hell's Angel

What, you can't tell? Here, try this one...

Any better?

You still can't see the back of their jackets? Well, you're just going to have to trust us on this.

By the time we got through all the dadgummed traffic jams and whatnot, it was fairly late when we got to Palm Springs. So of course we ate out. Jill was so excited!

While we were at the super posh resort (really though, talk about feeling out of place. No, sorry, we're not owners. Oh, and what's that? We can't get a $75 gift card because we make less than 50 grand a year? Yup, let's just not fit in), we swam and got sunburned and stuff. And we were that awkward newly wed couple playing Small World (board game) by the swimming pool. We're so stinkin' cute, huh? Oh, and the pool people decided to have a little party with lots o' music. They blasted Cotten Eye Joe and, since nobody else was getting their dance on, we decided to show them all how it's done.

So basically it was us, two pasty white (or sunburned to a crisp) kids jumping around in front of, well, everyone else. And some lady videod us with her phone. Bonus points if you can find her video on YouTube. And since there was nothing else to do at the pool, all eyes were on us. We got a nice loud round of applause following our performance. You can get our autographs later.

We also spent a good long day at San Diego. First we went to the San Diego temple to do sealings. The temple was gorgeous (see below, but try to focus on the building, not the cute couple).

Wow, what a cute couple!

It was there, outside of the temple, that we met our new friends. We never really learned their names, but they are most certainly our best friends in San Diego. They were a family visiting from Utah. They asked us to take their picture. They took ours in return (see above). They asked if we were on vacation or what the heck we were doing there, and before we even told them, they guessed we were on our honeymoon. Good for them. They should try their luck at Family Feud.

Then we went to the Mormon Battalion historic site and got a fun tour!

That's us in/on a covered wagon. So pioneer of us!

We won't bore you with the details (although it was fascinating), but let it be known that, while watching the documentary before the tour, our new friends from the temple came in! So we went through the tour with them. The father said that they were just going to spend the rest of our honeymoon with us. Hey, why not. The more the merrier, right?

Following the tour we wandered the ol' fashioned streets nearby. We went into a 5-and-Dime store to avoid our new friends (because the more is apparently not the merrier), and then after a while of hiding out, proceeded to wander the streets. In no time at all, we had caught up with our friends at a corner. They were eating tortillas. They offered to buy us some, as a treat. Being the mooches we are, we took them up on their offer, stayed a while, ate, and chatted. Now we really are best friends.

But enough about them. You just want to hear about the beach, don't you? Of course you do.

Enter BEACH.

We got rocked around by the waves, got sand everywhere, and got another sunburn (on top of the other sunburns we already had).

Not much else to say about the beach, but look at these pretty pictures and be jealous.

Oh gosh put some clothes on...

Nothing beats sand. Except lightning. Lightning beats sand.

Just be grateful it didn't poop on us

Wet water (as opposed to the dry kind)

And then there was the pier. Holy wow was it nice. Yowzah. I mean, just look for yourself!

USS Midway, in all her majesty

Sail boats!

The breeze, the salt water smell, the everything was just...yup. Words can't describe.

On our last night there we took the Palm Springs Tram up the mountainside, up and away from civilization. It was beautiful. A whole lot of rocks and trees and nature.

And us.

We hiked around a bit before coming back to the top where we got dropped off to eat at their nice, fancy restaurant. The view looked out over, well, everything. We didn't get pictures because we were too busy mooning over each other and being that cute newly wed couple (barf).

And then we drove home.

Anyway, like we said, this is just a way for us to keep you that care (hi Mom[s]!) up to date on what's happening with us. And since our honeymoon happened, well, you get to hear (read?) about it. Love you all and have a very merry Christmas.

Cheers.